Husband & Wife Showdown

My handsome husband and I are sometimes like apples and oranges, fire and water, yin and yang. This is never more evident than when preparing for a major occasion such as leaving for vacation, hosting a party, or anything else that requires more than 5 minutes of organization and preparation. This is also stressful. Very, very divorce-inducing stressful.

Case in point: our son’s 3rd birthday bash is tomorrow. All week, I have been making to-do lists, my mind whirling with non-stop thoughts of shopping, decorating, cleaning, cooking, wrapping, treat-bagging, balloon-blowing (DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A HELIUM SHORTAGE? DID YOU KNOW IT COSTS $5 TO BUY AND BLOW UP ONE MYLAR BALLOON? IT’S COOL. BREATHE.), picking up Brady’s birthday shirt that we special ordered only to have some butthole mess it up, trying not to freak out because the adorable image of my adorable child in his adorable shirt has been RUINED, adding an impromptu trip to the mall in search of a new shirt, coming home empty-handed, resisting the urge to cry or throw something or open a new bottle of red.

That is me. Neurotic, yes. That’s how I roll, don’t judge.

And this is Zach:

“The dogs need a bath. I should plant a few more day lilies on the hillside. Oh, and I was gonna try to golf at some point.”

Now this is me:


I guess we just value different things. When having 50+ people coming to our home, I find that food and cleanliness take precedence over the dogs licking their clean crotches. To each his own.

Alright, real talk: Zach is very helpful. He woke up at the crack of dawn today to make his homemade hamburgers and shopped for the last of the party food. As he was spewing productivity, I opted to flip on a new episode of Doc McStuffins for the birthday boy, sit my butt down with a cup of coffee and write this. I’ve already asked you not to judge. Lay off. I just feel like I owe this post to my readers since I basically forced them to “Like” my new Facebook page in an effort at shameless self-promotion. Hey, this may very well be another example of that there shamelessness. Whaddayaknow!


5 thoughts on “Husband & Wife Showdown

  1. This is hauntingly familiar. Early on the day of any event, be it birthday party, holiday or vacation, Hubs will tell me, “Calm down, you’re turning crazy…” Crazy?! The man doesn’t know crazy, I just want my guests to have a clean toilet…

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