Well, I Suck.

Dear The Mommy Ref The Sadder But Wiser GirlBack Home Blog,  Wake up Tired, and Life is Funny,

I suck and I know it. Each of you beautiful babes was so incredibly kind to share the love when your awesome blogs were awarded the recognition they deserve. Each of you wonderful women contacted me and were all, “Hey! I nominated you for something exciting!!” And I was all, “………………….”

Please know that I’ve been up to my elbows in the “P” Trifecta: poop, puke, and pudge. A brief explanation:

My kids have been sick. My son was throwing up and then got better and then throwing up more and then better. Then, just for extra shits and giggles, he got impetigo. So things around these parts have been just peachy.


Did I forget to mention the husband was sick, too? Blah.

Not to be outdone by her older brother, my daughter barfed so much a few nights ago that I just found more chunks behind her bed today. If you’re signing off now, thanks for stopping by!

All the puke makes me want to cry, too!

All that puke makes me want to cry, too!

Moving on, the NuvaRing, whom if you recall was my BFF, really screwed me. I gained 10+ pounds of water weight, so we were forced to part ways. Vain or not, I’m barely 5’2 and don’t need any more junk in my trunk, thankyouverymuch.

Mommy's medicine

Mommy’s medicine

Soooo…as you can see, it wasn’t that I wasn’t THRILLED and HUMBLED and ALL SMILES at your nods; I was all that and more. I just haven’t had a chance to follow all of the rules that accompany these awards. I do hope you’ll forgive me, but I’m breaking those rules. A lazy, lazy lady rebel by nature, I’m raging against the machine and just doing this:

  1. Link back to the person who nominated you. CHECK!
  2. Post the award image on your page. CHECK! 
  3. List 7 random facts about yourself. BELOW!
  4. Nominate other blogs for the award. CHECK!

My colleague, gal pal, and SSS (same-sex soul mate) over at Questionable Choices in Parenting is fall-down funny. You will L.O.V.E. her. And I don’t say this because she knows my home address or even because she gives me props in her “No Question, Just Inspiration” page (but she does); I’m honestly entertained by her. And that is why, I am nominating her for The Liebster!!!! From what I’ve surmised thus far in my almost-one-year of blogging, the Liebster is generally the first award given because it focuses on the small or new blogs who aspire to grow out of their britches and throw on their big girl panties. Grab the award image from my side bar, girl! —————>

7 Random Facts About Myself

1. My very best friend is ready to pop with her second baby and she’s invited me to be a part of the birth as I was with her daughter. Weeeee!!!!!!!

2. I hate my hands and feet. HATE THEM.

3. I have a wicked good arm and can throw a baseball farther than most dudes I know. [I feel wifely obligations to admit that my husband is not among those I can out-throw.]

4. I hate my natural hair color and haven’t seen it since about the 8th grade. When you read Questionable Choices in Parenting’s latest post, you’ll see why we get along so well.

5. I think my kids are cuter than yours. Sorry.

6. I’m cheating on my babysitter. She wasn’t doing a good job and fed the kids all these whole foods and organic stuff that smelled like body odor***. Instead of breaking up with her, I just hired someone else. And she’s Samantha-from-Sex-in-the-City FABULOUS.

7. One of my dad’s “boys” is hanging out of his shorts in a family picture. Gross and hilarious all at the same time. P.S. I blacked it out with a Sharpie the second I saw it. Sharpie, whatta say about a new sponsorship????

8. Parenting is hard. Most days I go back and forth between wanting more kids and wanting to sell the two I already have.

9. The way the American government treats the middle class makes me cringe. It makes more economical sense to expect to live off of another’s hard work. I’ve said too much, haven’t I?

10. Piers Morgan can bite me.

11. I’m terrible at math.

***I’m not against all-natural anything; but I am adamantly against body odor.

Mad love to:

The genius behind The Mommy Ref who bestowed the Liebster Award upon me.

Back Home Blog‘s Jill for nominating me for the Versatile Blog Award.  Jill’s one-liners will make you giddy.

Wake up Tired‘s Michele, Anna Lea West at Life is Funny, and Sarah over at The Sadder But Wiser Girl who thought of me for The Very Inspiring Blog Award.

Seriously, ladies, I’m touched. Not in that awkward way, but in that you made me feel warm and fuzzies kind of way. THANK YOU.

31 thoughts on “Well, I Suck.

  1. I feel like Sally Fields, “You like me. You really like me!” This is super exciting! An award and Jason Priestly retweeting me in one night! Best. Day. Ever. Sorry everyone in the house is sick. This weekend should earn you a free night away from everyone!!! You can sit in a hotel, eat cake, and drink Diet Coke in peace.

    • I like how you think! Except I’m going to replace hotel with spa, eat cake with nap, and drink Diet Coke to a bottle of red. 🙂 🙂 Seriously, though if you don’t want to follow all of the rules (or even accept the award!) I won’t be offended. It’s pretty extensive, but it’s also pretty pretty to have the award image in your blog 😉

    • It made me gain, and the ONLY reason I know to blame the NR is because the fam and I were on a “dessert ban” after Thanksgiving. I didn’t have ANY chocolate or sugary goodness for over a month and I gained like crazy. I called my doc and she confirmed that the NR is notorious for water weight gain. Peace out, NuvaRing!

      And as for Piers, two things: 1. he’s CONSTANTLY interrupting his guests. 2. he always brings the interview back to HIM. He’s not the focus, but I don’t think he got the memo.

      Do you hate me now? Please don’t tell me your his daughter or wife or something!

  2. Oh no! I hope everyone is better soon! This is probably the first winter we haven’t had the kids nonstop barfing at our house. Instead, we adults have been nonstop sick. I’ve been on two rounds of antibiotics and today, guess what, it’s back! I give up. I think I’m allergic to my children, my house, my dog, I don’t know… Either way, I’d take it over throwing up and all the loveliness that goes along with it!

    Just keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re awesome at it!

  3. Phew! What a week! Hope everyone is feeling better! I want to “like” this post from the perspective that I can relate to having the other three members of the house sick while still trying to keep the household afloat. My family is in the middle of some changes (that I hope to write about soon) and my brain has been way too “fuzzy” to write anything coherent lately. Have a restful night–Alison

  4. What a great post to come and get to meet you! Hello from more than mommies 🙂 I have such a girl arm, but I can catch pretty much anything. Set me up on first at the company softball game.

    Hope the family gets back to healthy 100% soon!

  5. Oh gosh, it sucks when they’re all sick! You poor thing! And I share that crazy good arm. And yes my husband throws farther, lol.

  6. Oh my gosh, I just started shake-laughing at #7 and couldn’t stop. I might need to send you a pic at some point … of a similar sitch we ran into in Italy. Oh dear me. Anyway, you make me laugh … thank you!

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