Oversharing: Toddler-style

Remember how sick I was yesterday? Well, today I put on my “day clothes,” as my kids call them, and headed out to the boy’s preschool parent/teacher conference. [Insert merited applause here]. I prayed that I wouldn’t crap in my pants and would like to thank Baby Jesus for hearing me. #Success.


Teacher: I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better.
Me: Thank you! But how did you…Oh no.

When he got home, I asked my blonde angel what, JUST WHAT, information had he bestowed upon his teacher. In a nutshell:

“Oh I just said that you were re-yee,Β re-yee (really) sick. You were pooping and it was stinky and Dad said, ‘Turn on the vent in that bathroom!’ And you were using Ella’s wipes because your bum hurt. And you vomited and it was gross–you didn’t even eat dinner with us.”

Just when I think I’m the queen of Oversharing, here comes this pint-sized punk to trump me. That’s okay, though; live it up buddy, mommy has pee-pee pictures she plans to show your prom date.

As an aside: I’m sitting in the bathtub as I type (unsafe but necessary, for obvious reasons…), and here comes the boy to interrupt. His initial reaction to finding me? “You know we don’t poop in the bathtub.”



21 thoughts on “Oversharing: Toddler-style

  1. There are no secrets for my family with my two. No ma’am. My kids tell all. When I had my birthday, my son walked right into church and announced “My Mom is 38! Oh, it’s her birthday…” If I ever get deathly ill I’m sure all details will be shared with the world.

    I’m impressed he said vomit!

  2. Oh no!! My son is the oversharer in our family. If there is anything I remotely think he might share and I don’t want him to share with his class I tell him “let’s keep this to ourselves.” I then worry that he is going to class saying “Mommy wants me to keep what happened last night a secret.” It’s truly a no win situation!!!

    • My Mother-in-Law used to tell my husband and his brother, “This doesn’t leave the table, okay?” when they discussed personal things. It always worked for them; maybe I should try that?! But you’re right: the next announcement would just be: I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT CAN’T LEAVE THE TABLE. Yoi πŸ™‚

  3. This is one of those posts where I’m always reluctant to click “like”–cause, you know, I don’t want you to think I *like* that you’ve been sick… πŸ˜› I remember having to coach my kids to when they started getting into answering the telephone to just say “Mom can’t come to the phone right now” instead of explaining in detail that Mom was vomiting, pooping, or my favourite: “still naked and wet from the shower and doesn’t want to talk to you yet.”

    • Ahahahaha!! “Like” away because I promise to always take pleasure in your kids embarrassing you, too πŸ˜‰ It’s like a Mama’s Oath or something: I swear to find the humor whilst being responsible for sustaining a small person’s life…

  4. Your angel is absolutely right! We don’t poop in the bathtub. Don’t you just LOVE how children put us in our place during the most inopportune moments? Hope you’re feeling better my dear!

  5. Love it!!!! Hope you feel better by today πŸ™‚

    My son told his physio (in front of me) ‘My Mummy does really massive farts. Bigger than Daddy’s. And they smell.’ I sank down into the chair, cringing. My husband was shaking with silent laughter 😦


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